Like We Used To
by KatylerAvatar
Summary: 6 years post-war. Aang and Katara separated along with the rest of the gang. Katara is being abused by her new husband. She can't seem to find a brighter day until Aang returns to the South Pole for a reunion with Sokka Will their love rekindle? HIATUS
1. Chapter 1: Letters From Home

Huh. So. Well. I've taken into consideration 3 things. 1. One chapter a week, no offense but due to a nice person and some help I can see how much a story can be with just a long chapter with a lot of depth is better than ten million rushed chapters. 2. Like We Used To is going to be rewritten due to the fact I agree with a lot of my readers, Aang is too forgiving, he needs a bit of Aanger, -pun-, and he needs to unleash his wrath upon Katara. 3. Stop with the flaming messages, if you're too big of a wienie to post them up on my story then just don't send them at all. Yes, you know who you are. When you're least expecting it, I'm going to unleash the Kataangy fluff and fry you. P.S. I kinda laughed at this chapter…..no offense but I just think Aang is amusing to write. This mostly revolves about his feelings towards to Katara and what'd he'd tell her if he ever saw her again then it goes into how he's living. O.O I was listening to Gives You Hell when I wrote this soooo….

Zuko: Ava owns no Avatar.

Ava: Thanks

Zuko: You're welcome

Ava: So how's the weather?

Zuko: This is too casual.

Story time.

* * *

-Aang's Thoughts-

Hate. Hate is powerful word. I can't really remember the last time I felt my heart become so full of bitterness. I haven't abhorred anyone or anything in the past few years. Well that's partially true. I used to think in any situation love could conquer hate, well I finally got a taste of the real world. I used think about how joyous life could be, now the joke is on me. To tell you the truth I can't even remember the last time I've been happy. My life has been the same three pathetic things…anger, pain, and of course the good old heartbreak. Yes, my heart has been afflicted and I pretty much shattered along with it.

How did it happen in the first place? I don't even know. All I knew was I loved her, I loved her so much it wasn't even healthy. I thought she felt the same, enjoyed me as much as I did her. Well boy was I far from right, I was so wrong it would've made the things Ozai did look appropriate. She thought that everything would be a dandy and no one would get hurt from it. Well bad freaking news for you Katara, I got scarred. Go ahead and look at two whole years like it's crap, the other person in the relationship enjoyed it. Did you know that he loved you? Did you know that he was trying to be the perfect guy for you?

I guess you didn't notice since you were too busy with planning on how to break my heart and walk off free and relieved. You probably still have no idea what hell you put me through. Hell probably wouldn't even the describe what's been happening to me. After the affliction I stayed in the Air Temple depressed and crushed for a whole year. It took a lot of negotiation from Zuko and a few soldiers just to get me to come out of my room.

That was just the beginning of it though. I sat up for hours trying to figure out what I did wrong, cried myself to sleep sometimes, even thought suicide seemed pleasant. It's been four years and it's hard to admit but I'm still angry and frustrated. You'd think after such a long period of time someone could move on, this guy is trying.

I've washed all those touching memories from my mind. The kisses were demolished, the affectionate glances terminated, that fateful night…too hard to forget. I guess I'm allowed to keep at least one memory to save me from depression. As they say, when a heart breaks it doesn't break even. You got your freedom and I got the burdens, fair trade isn't it. I bet your probably doing good now with your new lover and all Katara.

Yeah, I heard, let's just say Sokka is probably one of the only faithful friends I've got. He told me about how you were completely fell over this guy and how you quickly loved him. Lust is an ugly sin, you shouldn't make a habit of it. So, when you said you loved me, was that a lie? Was everything we did a lie? I should now consider myself blinder than Toph for believing you. It's funny though, I keep getting this feeling that during our relationship you always had eyes for this fellow. It's not jealousy, I guarantee you it's a fact.

Hope you have a hell of a life with him by the way, thanks for having the nerve to send me your wedding invitation a few months ago. You should've assumed I wasn't coming even if my life depended on it. I already know Toph didn't go, she now considers you a word the spirits wouldn't want the Avatar to say. She's making a great earth bending teacher, but you probably wouldn't know that since she is smart enough not to communicate with you. Sokka was pretty pissed too, I'm not surprised he hardly talks to you anymore. I'm glad his life is going splendid though, he and Suki deserve each other.

At least they are having the life they always dreamed of and I envy them. From the constant letters he sends, it sound like you're having marital problems. He goes on about how you are always moping around, not water bending or anything. Good for you, a punishment right from the spirits. I'm pretty acquainted with most of them, I'm surprised one didn't appear and swallow you up. Guess we all can't have our dreams come true, can we?

Sadly, I still can't grasp the thought that after all we've been through you would just cut me off. I loved you so much but I guess in the end that doesn't matter. I gave you everything…my heart and my soul but you just walked right over them like nothing. Yes, we even had that one night, alone together confessing our love in a different way. You probably just kicked that out the igloo like it was nothing too. How could you just take a beautiful relationship and just ruin it? If I were to ever see you again, I don't know what I would do.

Maybe if I get lucky your face won't be appearing never again. But it does, I'd wish you could feel the pain I've felt, cry the tears I've shed, and most importantly try to forget the bittersweet dreams. I hope your life becomes as miserable and as lonely as mine, forgiveness is not an option anymore. The Avatar is supposed to forgive everyone, the Avatar isn't supposed to hold grudges, well sorry to tell you but the Fire Nation was whole lot easier to accept an apology from.

The fact is I can't really remember why I cried over you, why I let my heart hang on. I guess this the next step to healing, moving on. Sometimes, and I hate to admit it, but I miss you. Heck, I've missed you a lot lately but I still can't except your mistake. I just want to know, does he love you like I loved you? Probably not, nothing could compare to my affections for you except this excess amount of anger swelling inside me.

I can't just get over this feeling, sometimes I despise you so much and other moments I long to feel you next to me. I dream of loving you again, but realistically I can't stand the thought of you. My heart is so frustrated I don't know what to do anymore. All I can remember is the pain, but love tries to push through the boundaries I set up. Hate. Hate is a powerful word. And for now it's the only word that matches your name.

-Out of thoughts-

Aang sat upon the temple's stone patio trying to meditate and gather his thoughts. All of them seemed to revolve about one person, the one person who ruined his life. The last six years had been tough and cruel to him, but he tried his best to force a smile upon his face. With eyes closed, he tried to focus, seeking help from the previous Avatars. His concentration was thrown off when his pet lemur began frantically chattering and screeching about. Aang clenched his teeth in frustration and tried to ignore the crazy animal. Again he took a calm breath and began his connecting to his other lives. The second time was going pleasant until he felt a sharp grip on his shoulder. Next the sensation moved to his head until it was plopped down into his lap. Aang opened one eye glancing down at a furious lemur. He just sighed with a hint of annoyance.

"What's wrong Momo?" The lemur's eyes peered passed his shoulder glaring at a messenger hawk with a matching stare.

The bird squawked angrily until being shushed by a very aggravated Avatar. Aang stood from his position, robes clinging to his being, and approached the estranged bird.

"What do we have here?" he asked himself in a sarcastic tone. "Another peace meeting! How delightful."

When he removed the letter from it's appropriate container his heart took a small leap. The outside of the letter was stamped with a water tribe emblem.

"Sokka." Aang said unwrapping the parchment and frantically reading the letter. It'd been weeks since his long time friend had written him. Word by word, the letter caused his heart to stop beating.

_Dear Aang,_

_I know it been long since I have written but with Suki being pregnant and all it's hard to write. She's constantly craving and nagging! It's driving me crazy, but hey I still love her. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is we want you to come visit. Just a month or two to spend time with your family. Yes, I said family. This includes you, me , Suki, and Toph. Dad wants to see you too, along with Gran Gran .She's really sick Aang and I don't know how much longer she's going to hold out._

_ I still know how you feel about Katara and I don't blame you._ _I still asked her to join us but she declined, something to do with her precious jerk of a husband. If you knew how much I'd love to rip his…well you get the point. Please, come and I really miss you buddy. We all do. If you do come make sure you make a fruit cake, Suki has been dying for one. She still claims your's are the best. Toph mentioned in her letter about some old time butt kicking too so don't make her miss her chance. __Please Please Come._

_Sokka._

Aang clutched the paper tightly in his hands and stood silent for a moment. All he could do at that very moment was breathe, well he could hardly do that. His head was filling with so many answers, yes, no, maybe? The young Avatar reopened the letter and glanced at it for another second. If he decided to go, he could risk having to see her again, but if he didn't he'd never get the opportunity to see everyone again. As his mind constantly debated the two animals fought ferociously. Aang bit down on his tongue and began to make his way to the Air Nomad's library.

His light footsteps echoed throughout the deserted hallways, never going to be filled with another Airbender except him. He drew closer to his destination biting his lip and fumbling with his robes. The Airbender entered the library taking in it's extravagance. The monks had been so careful with knowledge, carefully storing it in shelves and hidden boxes. When the Fire Nation attacked, most of the valuable information had been left untouched due to its secrecy. Aang took a comfortable position on a soft zafu (meditating pillow) with a small wooden surface before it. The table held two important things, ink and paper. With precision and Avatar picked up his brush and dipped it into the black substance. He hesitated a moment before slowly writing everything in his mind and the words glued to his heart.

_Sokka,_

_Tell my family I'm coming and nothing is going to stand in my way._

_Aang._


	2. Chapter 2: Welcome Back, Misery

Hey so if you read the first chapter, you know what's going on ducklings. P.S. Aang is a good cook, I wish he would cook something for me, I'm eating canned Ravioli!

Disclaimer: Ava doesn't own Avatar but she owns me. I was paid to say this.

Ava: Yup, just keep saying it.

* * *

I sighed as I caught my last glimpse at the Southern Air Temple. My mind couldn't comprehend the fact that after all these lonely years I would finally rejoin my family. I could feel my heart beating, beating so hard I wouldn't be surprised if it popped out of my chest. I hadn't seen the South Pole in what felt like ages due to the feeling of heartbreak whenever I thought of it. Well, that was then and this is now. I'm stronger and ready to face my problems head on, like a true Earthbender.

I loaded my final belongings onto my long time companion and took my position upon his head. Appa groaned what sounded like a farewell to our beloved home while Momo just perched on my shoulder with sad eyes. I let out one final breath before muttering the words of command. "Yip Yip." Appa took off into the sky enjoying the atmosphere. Momo chattered wildly climbing into the saddle to amuse himself. I just sat back feeling the air against my skin. The wind collided my soul and I felt whole again. I never realized how 6 months on the ground could make you feel to earth bound.

The last place I had visited was the Fire Nation, but that wasn't for a vacation, just a meeting. As soon as it ended I fled back to my safe escape known away from the treachery of the world. Now, back in the sky with Appa and Momo, I couldn't have felt more free. The clouds passed by me in a movement that looked like a dance. Since I decided to leave late into the night, Yue's bright eye was guiding me on my journey. I could feel her presence leading me on, her spirit encouraging me with every breath I took.

The stars shone brightly, shining with their own unique light. I released the reigns for a moment just to lean back and enjoy the sight. Maybe staying locked up in the temple wasn't worth missing all this beauty. An Airbender is never supposed stay on the ground too long, it makes him long for his true home, the vast atmosphere.

I didn't bother to stop and set up camp. The South Pole was 7 hours away if Appa flew straight through the night. Since Appa had eighteen hours of sleep and was in perfect condition, I thought he could handle a few measly hours. I settled back against the my pet's fur, reigns in hand, and steered us all through the clouds. During my journey I couldn't contain my excitement. I wonder how they've changed. I bet Sokka's got a beard, he always claimed he would grow one on our previous journeys. Suki and Toph and probably grown women, well Suki might be.

Hours that seemed like years passed by until I could see small lights. Torches, I assumed. I pulled the reigns and lowered Appa out of the foggy mist. I could fill the chilling wind and cold about an hour ago so I knew we were getting close. Then like a dream, there was the metropolis before me. The once small igloos and tents stood now as ice structures and homes. A large wall surrounded the out skirts of the city and the water surrounding it glowed and sparkled. The lights, I began to recognize, were little fire torches outside the quaint homes.

I felt a smile spread across my face as my bison and I, along with my pet lemur land upon the icy landscape. My heart was pounding, my stomach filled with butterflies, and my brain began melting into mush. 5 years, five long, agonizing years without seeing my friends. Hiding wasn't worth it, it has never been. I tried to follow Sokka directions as he had written , but his sloppy writing became more difficult word by word.

Apparently when I sent him my letter of acceptance his excitement affected his handwriting. I came upon a magnificent fountain flowing with water, it was one of the clues to Sokka and Suki's home. Go left at the ice sculpted fountain, the letter seemed to yell at me. I groaned in confusion, not to mention frustration.

As Katara once said, "It's not just turn right at the next glacier."

She was right, the South and North Poles were places of hindrance and affliction, just like her heart. The horizon began brighten up with warm sunlight as I came upon a very conspicuous looking house. It was artistically built, lined with water tribe emblems and upon the window was my sign, the sign that would lead my to my friends. At the small corner sat an Air Nomad insignia. I couldn't help but grin at the thought that although Sokka was rude and annoying, he always knew how to give comfort in the strangest ways.

My footsteps made no sound as I slowly walked up to the door. With Momo asleep in the saddle, Appa followed and plopped down next to the residence too tired to continue on. With ease I knocked three times hoping I didn't awaken them. Inside I could hear a small feud until the door flung open and standing before me was a very tired Watertribe citizen. The man was an inch or two taller than me, his skin dark as copper and his eyes bluer than the ocean. He was dressed in a pair of pants and a heavy coat lined with fur.

It only took me a second to realize this familiar man was no one other than my best friend, Sokka. "Sokka?" I said hesitating a moment before being pulled forcefully into the house. It all passed by so quick I barely had a chance to react.

Before long I was pulled into a strong embrace, Sokka had really been working out. "Aang buddy! It's so good to see ya!" Sokka said releasing the strangled Avatar.

"You grown up so much! I think you're almost taller than me Airhead." His voice was so deep and so collected, on our previous adventures his voice cracked a lot and was a bit squealish. Now before my stood a grown guy whose life I had missed out on just because of her.

"It's good to see you too Sokka. You've certainly built up some um muscle. Not to mention your beard is kind of coming in." I joked with him.

Sokka just rolled his eyes and pulled at his ponytail. "Of course I'm looking good, what would you expect? Anyways you look like you've been training, and not to mention your voice. Did you finally hit puberty?" I could help but laugh at the accusation, it took forever for my voice to deepen.

For a moment I glanced around the comfy home admiring it's structure. Furs covered the floor as a rugs and upon the walls hung Watertribe and Earth Kingdom artifacts. The living room had a small wooden table with many pillows gathered around it in front of a nicely built fire pit. "Wow, your home is beautiful." I told Sokka taking in as much as I can. Sokka just shot me a half smile and leaned against one of the iced walls.

"Yeah, it is pretty nice. Granpakku, Dad, and I built it all ourselves."

My pupils wondered another minute before resting upon a figure coming down the hallway. The person was very plump in the belly area and from the way they walked, this person was not happy. I could only assume this frustrated shadow was Suki, pregnant and furious. Her auburn hair was now down to her shoulders and she was draped in a dark blue night gown that was covered by a small white kimono.

"Sokka! How could you just get out of bed and leave me! What if an assassin walked in and tried to get me! I am carrying this child and I deserve…." she paused for a moment to notice their newly arrived visitor. "Oh wow Aang! I can't believe you're here!" Suki walked gracefully, although she was pregnant, and enveloped me in a hug. "Oh gosh, you've gotten so big." Then one hand clipped the side of my cheek, a motherly instinct, and pinched it hard enough I you've swore I saw blood. When Suki finally gave me a moment to breathe, I couldn't seem to find any air to inhale.

"Well Aang how about you get settled in and rest a minute or two and I'll fix breakfast." Sokka declared looking rather anxious but exhausted to begin cooking.

Suki smacked him upside the head angrily and began ranting. "Cook! You want to cook! Last time you cooked I got food poisoning! There is now way in heck I'm going to let kill our friend, let alone the Avatar!" Sokka's masculine body seemed to grow smaller and smaller as Suki's fury grew louder.

Me being the Avatar in all, I guess I should step in, I thought. "Um guys, would you mind if I cooked?" I choked out. "I know I'm your visitor, but it's the least I could do. From the way things look, you guys need to rest. Don't you think?"

Sokka and Suki looked at me as if I sprouted two heads and turned into a spirit monster. "Aang, you just got here, there's no, and we are fine." Suki implied clutching her over sized belly.

I just shook my head and chuckled a bit. "Suki, you of all people should know you need rest, since you've got another life growing inside you. And Sokka, I think your wife needs you, so you guys go to sleep."

As the two began to protest and debate, I walked right passed them and went into their humble kitchen. "Ahem, go sleep." I said with a smile. Sokka just shrugged his shoulders, winked, and took Suki by the hand. "Come on dear, time for bed. See you later Aang." Suki stood her ground, but when a searing pain in her stomach came she immediately gave up.

"Okay, Aang don't work yourself too hard. When I get this child out, I'm the one who's cooking again." Sokka led his wife down the narrow hallways to their bedroom, but after a few seconds later his head popped around the corner and mouthed the words "Thanks."

"No problem," I quietly replied back.

I began to rummage through the unfamiliar cabinets until I came upon various vegetables and spices. Soup, the perfect meal for a pregnant woman, her sarcastic husband, and their long lost friend. I hopelessly wandered through small pots and baskets until I finally found some kitchen utensils. Afterward I searched helplessly for a cooking pot, wondering where I was supposed to find one. Slowly and quietly, I tip toed down the hallway looking behind doors for a storage room. Eventually I intruded a small closet that contained pots, bowls, and a cutting board. Success!

With arms full I delicately set out bowls.. I agilely began cutting the vegetables and placing them into the cauldron. With each stroke of the knife the pieces were cut and broken, like a heart. I swiped the analogy from mind, removing it as soon as it tried to appear. "No, you are not going to think of that….you're with your family, no more depressing thoughts." Too absorbed in my thoughts, instead of slicing the herbaceous food, I cut right across my skin.

The knife came in contact with the floor as I gripped my wound. The pain was bearable but I still needed to stop the bleeding, I'm sure Sokka or Suki wouldn't want blood in their stew. My eyes glanced around the humble abode searching for a linen to slow the amount of blood slowly exiting my body. Then I remembered, hey I'm a water bender. I carefully withdrew a small stream of water from the wall and placed it over the wound. The water caked over the sore and began cleansing it. Studying the small scar left, I cursed at myself for being so clumsy and returned back to my work.

Breakfast was going according to plan, the soup was cooking over a small fire in the pit, a fruitcake I baked especially for Suki took pride sitting n the middle of the table, and 3 small mugs were filled with water. My mouth took on a variety of smiles as I skipped into the living room to take a break from my chef work. I rested upon one of the many pillows that weren't made from an innocent animal and stared at the ceiling.

My thoughts ranged from many topics, but I could get off one in particular. This one thought plagued me my whole trip here. I wonder if she's coming, hopefully not. I couldn't stand the sight of her and her new husband. Since the soup was taking a while to cook I began playing with the flames within the fire mimicking some old firebending. Being alone for all those years really gave me time to practice the elements, my earth bending had become more rough and precise, my water bending was graceful but still dangerous, and my firebending was fierce and flaming, horrible pun.

Becoming less amused with the fire, I began wondering about Sokka and Suki. There were so many other things I needed to tell them that couldn't be expressed in a letter. I was pretty aware they also had a million things to clue me in on also. A small knock on the door dragged me out of my mental assessment. I briskly stood to my feet an paced towards the noise, gripping the door handle and preparing to open it.

I lugged the weight of the door back and peered outside, being met with a cool arctic breeze. My eyes hadn't see who it was yet so I greeted them with a polite hello. When my vision focused though, before me stood a beautiful sight, A young Watertribe woman about in her late teens. The lovely person had dark brown hair that cascaded down her shoulders and gorgeous blue eyes that reminded me of the evening sky.

But while observing her I caught sight of something familiar, a betrothal necklace with the most familiar design, a design that only belonged to one girl…Katara. I was admiring the cause of my misery for the past 4 years, stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Aang?" Katara said looking at me, but I couldn't meet her eyes.

The anger was swelling inside me like a volcano ready to explode. My heart began beating, beating like a wild flying boar ready to charge. Finally I forced my eyes upward, filled with hate and daggers.

"Yes?" I said harshly not caring if I pierced her feelings. It took awhile to answer, probably surprised at my obvious hatred.

"Um, well welcome back….. uhh and where's Sokka?" she choked with a bit of shock and pain in her voice.

I gritted my teeth and spoke in a quiet but yet annoyed tone. "He and Suki are sleeping. They'd probably don't want not to be bothered right now. I think it'd be best if you came back later."

Katara's eyes widened in confusion but before she could give back a reply I shut the door in her face. I couldn't stand another minute looking at her, I felt so dark and satisfied. Outside the door I could hear faint whimpers, good, she deserved it. I returned to my stew to begin testing it until I heard I another knock at the door, this time louder. I groaned and answered it again finding Katara again this time angry and distressed.

"You can't just slam the door in my face, this is my brother's house!" she exclaimed placing her hands on her hips. You could see in her eyes she was n the verge of tears. I rolled my eyes and brushed off her sad excuse of a threat.

"Last time I checked, Katara I don't really care. Why don't you run off and play around with your pathetic husband, I'm sure Sokka is sick of you just like everyone else!" Katara didn't respond, she just looked at me with a shameful expression.

And with that I shut the door feeling sad but relieved. It was about time for her to feel the same pain I was burdened with. She needed to know how it feels for someone to shut the door on you and just kick you to the curve like a piece of trash.

* * *

Okay Special Note: Aang won't be this cruel though out the story, it'll be a few chapters but he learns to accept Katara again even though she caused him to go through hell and back. Luvvers you and feel the wrath of Aang.


	3. Chapter 3: Rebuilding A Life

When I wrote this, I was listening to It Ends by Faber Drive. That song really goes with this story! :] I know it's been a long while since I wrote, but I was in this emotional mood, okay?

* * *

I leaned against the door of Sokka's home, already feeling the tears surface to my eyes, My heart ached, a long piercing knife right through my soul. I ran my hand along the door, feeling the slick ice burn my fingers. My cheek rested against the surface, sending a cold wave through my body.

He hates me, I began to think. Of course he does. He has every right in the world to want to think cruel things of me. I'm the one who left, I'm the one who ruined everything on a hunch. It was a hunch that I was in love with another. My prediction turned out to be my worst nightmare.

My feet urged me to move, but I couldn't. I stood sadly in front of the igloo, feeling a brisk, cold wind cut through me. Small, graceful flurries began to rain down upon me, blanketing me with a soft cover. My eyes took one last glance at the household before I began to trudge away.

How could you do that to him? What kind of person are you? He's had to live with this for years!

I know. I have too.

I take blame for my can never just leave person, thinking another might love you more. Nothing could've compared to Aang's love, and I know that now.

And I've lost it.

Cold crystals journeyed down my cheeks, flowing on forever. Why did everything suddenly seem so airless? Where did all the happiness go? I honestly cannot tell you. When I left Aang, I thought I was doing the right thing. I had met another man, who I claimed to love. Aang was the Avatar, and as far as that goes, I was just a distraction from his duties.

Now looking back, it was all wrong. But I can't take it back. It's a little too late. Forever I must be burdened with my mistakes, the kind that could never be fixed. They're literally a punch in my face, a painful blow.

I winced at that thought. Eventually I came upon an small, bare igloo, my home. My house was simple, plain, and a transition from what it could be. Ever since I had gotten married, my drive to waterbend has decreased by the stress and mostly the pain. I entered carefully,surveying the rooms for my husband. He wasn't home yet.

A sigh of relief exited my lips. How awful. Having to fear for your own life in your own residence. Slowly shrugged of my parka, laying it against the window to dry out some. My eyes began to wonder down to my sleeve. I gripped the material and began to slightly pull upward. My tan skin was visible, along with an assortment of bruises. I ran my fingers along the purplish spots, some were beginning to fade to yellow. That's when the memory came back.

-Flashback-

It had only been a few days after my new husband and I settled into my home. He was a fisherman from the North, with medium length brown hair and light walnut skin. This lovely man's name was Kenya. He was as handsome as any man but he had a temper. This temper was something I didn't know very much about.

It was a day like any other, I did my daily chores as a woman should. In Kenyu's eyes, the woman was to be the keeper of the home while the man was the authority. I didn't take much to this at first, but I brushed it off as a male kind of thing.

Except on this day, I received a letter, a letter from Aang. Not wanting Kenyu to notice, I solemnly ran to our bedroom and ripped open the seal firm. My eyes began to water on the very first sentence. My heart began to break on the second.

_Dear Katara,_

_I can't feel anything without you. My heart, it feels so swollen, I swear it's going to burst through my chest. I miss you. I miss you so much I can't even breathe. How could you? Why are you doing this? If I hurt you, I never meant to. If I didn't love you enough, then please forgive me._

_I honestly I don't know what to do anymore. It's like my whole world is crumbling around me. Does he love you like I do? Does he hold you when you cry? Does he make you life and give you hope? If he does, then I'm glad you're happy, but it still doesn't make me heal. Life right now is hell, and these scars won't stop burning. Am I the fool?_

_Goodbye, Aang_

I wanted to hit myself right then and there. My exterior of no guilt was beginning to shatter. He was a victim, and I brutally murdered him. His manuscript was rough, scratched letters, not the graceful calligraphy he always wrote with. This was the exact moment when I felt it too. It hit me like an earthbender shooting a rock right at a clear target.

Maybe the burning will stop. All I knew was, I had to see him. I had to let him know that it was a mistake, and it was my fault. Truthfully, I did love him, and I bashed that affection into the ground. How could I have been so selfish, so cruel? I felt a burst of adrenaline as I grabbed a small sack and began to stuff whatever I could into it, clothes, money, and supplies. As I tightened the string, I heard my husband's footsteps.

"Katara, what are you doing?" Kenyu asked entering the bedroom, a bit annoyed. "Why aren't cooking dinner?"

"I've been doing more useful things at the moment," I replied, a bit of disgust in my voice.

"More important things? Like what? And why are you packing a bag?"

"It's not of your concern!" I said, becoming frustrated by his constant questioning.

Kenyu's eyebrows knotted in anger. "You are my wife, and your business is mine!"

"Not all of it, I have my own things to take care of." I said, the fury building inside me.

Kenyu's eyes searched mine and then the room until they found the letter. His eyes widened and his hand snatched the parchment.

"Now, I see. going to visit an old friend? You weren't thinking about leaving me? He said clenching the crumbled paper in his palm.

"Of course not!" I yelled. "Give me that letter, it's mine."

"You have no use for it! Not going to be a whore again are you?" he yelled back, his tone rising.

"Will you just leave me alone and give it back!" I screamed loudly before slapping him across the face, feeling a sting at my hand.

I should've thought before I acted. Another mistake I suppose. Before I knew it, Kenyu had me pushed against the wall, immediate pain rushing into my backside.

"You think you have the right to slap me?" he spat out. "You have none at all."

Then, in the blink of an eye, it happened. I felt his hand hit me across the face, sending a shock of pain into my jaw. I slid down to the floor, grasping my dress material in my hands. My eyes filled with tears, and a sob escaped my throat. I heard him snicker.

"You shouldn't defy me Katara, if you know what's good for you."

I raised my head slowly, feeling a sting with each centimeter I dared to look up. "Monster." I said, trying to make a threat.

Suddenly, when things couldn't get any worse, I was jerked up by my shoulders and thrown onto my bed. I kicked, I screamed, but my efforts were useless. Every time I fought back, I earned another punch, another slap, and sometime a harsh jerk to my hair. This was not love. This was hate. This was an abomintation.

Hours later, as my bare form lay under the furs, I feared for my life. I now knew my punishment for breaking the heart of another. Still yet, what had happened to me couldn't compare to the pain I caused Aang, the knives I stabbed into his back. As I laid there that very moment, I lost all sensation, and my mind began to drift back to those memories of us. The sweet kisses, the tender hugs, and that one night where we both lost ourselves. I traded all of that for this.

-End of Flashback-

After that one happening, it never stopped. The insults, the injuries, were a normal thing. No one ever knew of course. Who knew what would happen if someone found out. I'd be digging my own grave, and Kenyu would make sure of it. So I went along, wearing long sleeves and keeping my hood up whenever a contusion was living amongst my face. But then there were some nights, I prayed to the spirits that I could take it all back and go back to things as they once were. Sadly, nothing ever changed. I condemned myself to live in this misery forever.

It only took my another hour or so before I gained more courage to walk back to Sokka's. I was deciding about whether to tell him about the issues of my marriage. With my head held high, I pulled my way through the snow and tucked my hood closer to my face.

Soon enough, there was the cozy home that belonged to my brother and was occupied by the man I still loved. I gently lifted my hand again, removing the glove so I could clearly knock. I made contact with the door three times before someone answered.

"Hello Katara," Suki said, a gentle smile upon her face.

"Hi, can I speak with Sokka?" I said, hoping to finally confide in my brother.

"He's gone out with Aang right now, but you can stay until they get back. They won't be much longer." she said placing a hand on her enlarged stomach.

I placed my hands behind my back, deciding what to do. I didn't want to see Aang, the confrontation earlier was enough to tell me that he really hated my guts. "I'll just stop by later, thank you anyways Suki."

Suki frowned a bit before offering once again. "It'll be okay Katara. Aang is fine, he's just a bit bothered. Please, I insist."

I smiled thankfully before entering the humble abode. I could smell dinner cooking and the saltiness of the ocean only a few miles away. Suki settled herself on a pillow beside a pot, stirring what appeared to be sea prunes.

"I could actually use a second opinion," she began. "I can never make these right."

I joined her on the floor and tasted from the spoon in the pot. The liquid was cold and a bit on the salty and gross side, but I tried my best to hide my emotions.

"It's good, but it needs less salt and more prunes."

Suki nodded gratefully, and it became evident that she really needed help. So, we both sat there over a steaming pot and fixed up a stew while also rebuilding some family ties.

"How's your pregnancy going?" I asked after we finally got the soup tasting normal.

"It's been hard, but I'm so thankful for this child. What about you and Kenyu? Are you trying?"

I lowered my head and felt such shame. For some reason, I couldn't bear child. Kenyu pretty much blamed my body and how it, like me, couldn't do anything right.

"Um, no. We're not trying right now."

Suki sensed my uncomfortable feelings, but she didn't press on. Instead she turned to a even lighter topic.

"Well everything's been so hectic lately, with Spring coming and everything. Good time for fishing too."

Right before I could give her a reply, the door burst open and a loud voice rang through the room.

"Suki! We're home!" Sokka exclaimed, his deep voice echoing.

"Sokka, honey you don't have to yell. I'm right here." Suki said with annoyance in her voice.

My brother sighed and narrowed his eyes, glancing around the room until they rested upon me. He offered a polite smile. "It's good to see you Katara," he said bending down to pull me into a hug. I breathed in his familiar scent of jerky and seal.

Behind him, sticking to the shadows, was Aang. His arms were crossed over his chest and his mouth was set in a firm, straight line. He was so different. His eyes were that same gray, only with a twinge of pain showed instead of youthful glee.

The man before me was as tall as Sokka and dressed in what looked to be traditional robes. He wore a wooden pendant around his neck, signifying his heritage and nation. This was no longer the teenaged boy burdened with the duty of the Avatar, this was a young man who carried his purpose upon this land.

When his eyes flickered to me, they softened only for a moment before taking back on their hard exterior. In his heart, I knew somewhere he still loved me. By now, all that love was probably covered with ache and hate. And it's all my fault.

Aang dropped the net he was carrying, leaving it upon the table. A graceful as he was, it didn't make a sound. "If you do not mind," he began. "I shall be in my room." Sokka gave him a nod understanding his situation. Before I knew it, he disappeared from my sight behind another closed door.

A door I could never enter again.

* * *

I know it seems weird to end it here, but in the next chapter it's gonna get real. I appreciate the reviews!


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